Get Back With an Ex

Step Five: The Quickest Ways to Get Him to Make First Contact

If you haven't figured it out by now, your ultimate goal is to get your ex to make that first, initial move. This is because whoever makes the first move after the breakup gives up a LOT of power, and in this case, that power would go to you.

If you don't think your breakup is a power struggle, think again. Every break has a winner and a loser, and whoever walks away first is usually holding all the cards.

While your boyfriend has the cards? You can't chase him. You can't even reason with him, because any contact initiated by you will be done from a position of weakness. After all, he's still got all the power.

But once you make your ex call or text-message you first?

The power shifts. And best of all, for the first time since he dumped you the power shifts in YOUR favor.

Once you've taken back some or most of the power you lost when your boyfriend ended things? You can begin making moves (starting with these reconnection techniques).

And finally, those moves will have positive results instead of negative ones. Because in the big game of chicken that turned out to be the No Contact phase? Your exboyfriend was the one to flinch first.

What to Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Calls or Texts You

If you've gone strict No Contact, chances are very good that your ex made some sort of first move. He's going to call or text you - 90% of the time contact will be made through one of these two methods.

The first thing to do when your ex calls?   IGNORE HIM.

Maybe your ex is calling because he wants to see what's up, or maybe he's even calling to beg you to come back... none of that matters right now. All that matters is that you not pick up the phone right away, or answer his text in a timely fashion.

Ignoring your boyfriend's first attempt at contacting you might be the most difficult thing you do in your life. That said, it can also be the most important moment in getting him back. Because when you don't answer right away? Your ex's mind begins making up all kinds of worst-case scenarios as to why you wouldn't be jumping on the chance to talk to them.

"Is she mad at me? Totally over me?"

"Did she start dating some other guy?"

You want your boyfriend to immediately think he waited too long. Like whatever sway he still migth've had over you is now gone. The certainty that he could get you back falls into question, and instantly he begins doubting himself and losing confidence.

This is what you want. It gives you even MORE power. Because when you finally do get back in touch with him? You'll be in the driver's seat this time. You'll be the one who dictates how the conversation goes, and how successful of a connection the two of you make.

What to Say After Making First Contact With Your Ex

If your boyfriend called you on the phone, wait an entire day before calling him back. If he texted you instead, you should wait about 3 hours.

There's a whole guide on how to text your ex when you want them back, so if text-messaging is the way you're going to go you should probably read that first. The video intro alone will give you lots of ideas on how best to handle text-messaging after the breakup.

When calling your boyfriend back, wait until evening. Too early in the day he won't have time for you, and by waiting until nightfall you're going to get him at a less busy time. Besides, he'll have been waiting all day. The anticipation will make him happy to see your number finally show up.

Two things to remember when talking to your ex: be cool and confident.

No matter what happens, no matter what gets said, no matter if you even hang up on each other... always remain cool, always remain confident.

It should be as if calling him were an afterthought - another chore you had to do that day. You shouldn't seem anxious or nervous or overly-excited. You shouldn't make it appear as if you were building up the nerve to call him. Everything should seem totally and completely natural.

You can be cheerful. In fact, you should be happy. Not so much that he called, but just happy in general. After all, you've been doing fantastic since the breakup. This should come over. It should be something your boyfriend picks up on, even on the phone.

At the same time, don't talk too much. Initially, it's always good to let your ex do most of the talking. Let him tell you why he called (there will almost always be a reason), and then just roll with whatever reason he gave you.

When you do speak, make small talk. Ask him how he's been doing. Ask about work, or school. If you were close with his family, ask how they're doing.

Once all that's done you're going to do something that will shift even more of the power in your direction: you're going to end the call abruptly. By doing this you're seizing control of the contact, even though he's the one who initiated things.

"Hey listen, sorry but I'm running out the door.
Was great hearing from you though."

Wait! What? Where the hell is she going?

Your boyfriend will be taken aback by how quickly you're looking to finish the call. Again, he'll take it as a sign of disinterest. Which, of course, will only make him MORE interested in you right now (are you getting how this works yet?)

Whatever he says to that, follow it up with:

"Look, call me back after the weekend or something,
and maybe we can catch up. I'll have more time then."

By doing this you're putting another thing into your exboyfriend's mind: you're busy this weekend. Suddenly he'll be wondering what you're doing, and even better, who you're doing it with. Maybe you met someone else. Maybe you already have a new boyfriend. All of these things will drive him absolutely crazy, yet he'll be powerless to do anything, at least until Monday.

Also, you told him to call YOU. It happened sneakily, too, but it happened. Which means that once again, he has to initiate the call. And once more, some of the power shifts back to you.

Things to Talk About With Your Ex Boyfriend

Eventually, as you talk some more, you'll discuss things that will bring you bit closer together. Things might seem almost normal again, despite the breakup.

There are some DO's and DON'T's here, when communicating with your ex. It's very important that you stick to these rules of contact. For example:

• DON'T tell your exboyfriend how much you missed him, or that you couldn't wait for him to call you again. You want to seem busy and independent, not needy and desperate.
• DON'T ramble, or do all of the talking. The more you sit back and let your ex talk, the more he'll get to the real reasons he called (i.e. because he misses you)
• DON'T pry too deeply into your boyfriend's life. Although you want to ask him what he's been up to, you don't want to make it seem as if you're jealousl y pushing for intimate details. Let him tell you.
• DON'T talk about the breakup. At ALL. Unless he brings it up, in which case allow him to get whatever it is he wants to off his chest (this will usually be the obstacles he needs to reconcile before allowing himself to get back together with you).
• DO have a sense of humor. Try to be funny about the whole thing, and if you can, make your boyfriend laugh.
• DO let him know it's good to hear from him again. Act as if reminescing with him is bringing back good memories for you, and it will for him too.
• DO let him ramble on about whatever he decides to talk about. The more he says, the closer you'll get to seeing the signs he might want you back.
• DO talk about the breakup, but only when he finally brings it up. Be constructive about it, and avoid pointing fingers or placing any blame.

Every time you speak to him, try to keep things short. Your goal is to leave the conversation before it gets mundane or boring, and also, you want to leave him wanting more.

This is also good because your ultimate goal is to get your ex to see you again. So when after a few small conversations that have already gone well, wait until the next time he calls and say something like:

"Hey! Sorry, you caught me as I was about to leave again. Tell you what: Let's meet up for lunch or coffee or something, so we actually have time to sit down and talk. Pick a place and let me know."

Again, you're putting the ball in his court; making him ask you out on a sort of reunion date. It's good because you're agreeing to see him, rather than asking to see him. And it all seems like the natural progression of a half dozen or so positive phone calls/text messages.

My Ex Boyfriend Still Hasn't Called Me - What Do I Do Next?

If you've gotten to this point and your ex hasn't reached out to you yet, there are a few other measures you can take. Some of them are simple, while others involve a bit more planning. All of them are good though, in getting your ex to notice you again.

One of the biggest names in fixing a broken romance is Breakup Reversed. This guide by Robert Parsons has the single greatest success rate of any other 'Get Back Together' product.

By using simple psychological triggers and emotional bonding techinques, you'll learn how to halt and reverse the breakup process. This means your boyfriend will stop moving away from you and start moving toward you again, until eventually, your ex is chasing YOU.

With an incredible 97.4% success rate and a money-back guarantee, Breakup Reversed has helped tens of thousands of people fix their unwanted breakups and get back together again.

The system is great because it promotes instant results. The full-downloadable guide gives you tips, tricks, and full-blown blueprint techniques you can start using right away - today in fact - to change the entire way your ex boyfriend currently perceives you.

The guide is an excellent resource for those stubborn cases where your ex still isn't paying much attention to you even after the no contact phase. Learn how to trigger instant responses, phone calls, text-messages, and more.

Okay, with contact established let's move on to the last phase of getting him back:

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